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Party: Things Are Different Here. attn Kashara / Ronhim


kepheren
 

Ronhim watched the staff setting up the tables and fetching food at the party with an odd expression. Till very recently that would have been him, only it would have been happening at Arolos Hold than at the Weyr. It was a bit of culture shock for him going from the life of a drudge at a hold to becoming a candidate at the Weyr. There was still a lot he didn't understand and that was only the things he had seen so far! How much more was going on that he hadn't noticed yet which would seem totally alien to him? It made the young man's head swim.

Then one such oddity, at least to his sensibilities, came into view. Two men together, holding hands, whispering together and exchanging tender looks. Ronhim had heard of such things, even seen two men like that before, but always hidden and seeming with a sense of shame. Here they were open and happy and he watched them for a long moment trying to wrap his head around it. Apparently though he hadn't been terribly discrete himself in watching as the shy fellow realized someone had been observing him the whole time.

Turning his glance he caught sight of a young woman who had seen the whole thing. She was quite pretty, which only intensified his social anxiety, and he couldn't really read her expression. Weyr ways were different and Ronhim worried that he might accidentally offend someone. Being shy or not though the situation seemed to call for him to say something by way of explanation.

"Things are different here," he said with a half smile, stuttering on the words a little as he always did when talking to a pretty girl. "I must seem kind of stupid to you folks."

No one had said he was stupid here but plenty had back at the Hold. It was only natural he supposed to think people here would feel the same, especially since he was so out of place.


sailyn2
 

Kashara smiled. She could recognize that shell shocked look anywhere. A new Candidate who had never been outside the Hold or Hall, she'd put a bet on it.

"If you've never seen it, it can seem weird," Kashara agreed. "The trick is to learn more. I'm Kashara by the way. Want to talk about it?"


kepheren
 

She didn't take offense at his confusion which Ronhim greatly appreciated. He didn't mean to offend anyone or to seem too confounded by the ways of the Weyr but they were most surely different than what he had known back home. Then again, life back home hadn't been so kind to him. Maybe it was time he learned some new ways and tried to fit in here.

"Learn more? Yes, I want to learn more," he agreed in a sheepish tone."

He watched the two men as they made their way out of the crowd and then turned his attention back to Kashara.

"I don't want to be a burden or keep you from the party but I do want to talk. And not just about that. Everything seems different and confusing here and I want to fit it. I just don't know how yet."

The confession came out in a mini torrent of words. His confusion was apparent in the tone of his voice and, despite his protests that he didn't want to interrupt the party he hoped Kashara could spare him a few minutes to get it off his chest.

"My name is Ronhim by the way. New candidate from Arolos Hold."


sailyn2
 

"Nice to meet you," Kashara said. "I'm happy to talk to you about whatever you want. I've heard how confusing things can be and I definitely know there can be some culture shock. Even for a Weyr things are different and more relaxed than other Weyrs. What do you want to talk about?"


kepheren
 

What did he want to talk about? Yeah, that was the hard part. Ronhim had trouble putting his jumbled thoughts into words. For a long moment he pondered that and then studied Kashara for a moment more. She seemed nice and he was grateful for her time. How best to sum up what he needed to know?

"I guess guys like that can be accepted here," he said with a nod. Truth be told that suited him just fine. While he wasn't attracted to men himself he had never really understood why others mistreated the men who did. Maybe he was just more understanding since he too had been generally neglected and mistreated.

"So I guess...I hope...that everyone is accepted? Even if they aren't so smart or can't always find the right words?  Can somebody like me really find a dragon on the sands? And make a place here doing something important?"

Deep down, though he didn't have the words to express it, Ronhim was just looking for acceptance and a chance to better himself. He just didn't know yet how to get that and all the new things he was seeing here made his head spin.


sailyn2
 

"People are accepted here so long as they don't cause trouble," Kashara said. "And the dragons don't care if you're not the smartest person in the Weyr or who you like to have sex with or what your background is. If your Lifemate is on the Sands, he or she will find you and you two will be happy together."


kepheren
 

"Oh....I don't cause any trouble," he said, a bit alarmed at the thought. And he blushed bright red when she mentioned sex. The poor fellow really was rather backwards and shy about some things.

"You make it all sound so wonderful. It sounds silly but...but from the first moment I heard the search dragon speak in my head I've had a dream."

He tapped his temple with his finger to indicate where he had heard the dragon before continuing.

"I've been alone for a long time. The idea of someone in my head who would understand and know what was in my heart when I couldn't find the words would mean a lot. And someone else to take care of who wouldn't treat me like I was part of the furniture would be a dream come true."

And of course there was the part about doing something important in life like fighting thread and saving peoples lives....but Ronhim could only find so many words at a time on short notice. He had gotten better about talking to people in his short time here but it was going to take longer still before he was comfortable with it.


sailyn2
 

"It's a nice dream," Kashara said with a smile. "But I'm going to be the jerk that disillusions you. Having a lifemate means they'll know you better than anyone else ever will, but that doesn't mean things will be perfect. Dragons are still their own unique beings and they have opinions. My mom and Foreth argue worse than any couple I've ever seen, and yet they're lifemates."


kepheren
 

He frowned a bit at her raining on his dream and finally sighed a bit.

"No, it wouldn't be perfect I guess...but what ever is? Your mother and Floreth love each other don't they? Despite any arguing. Neither of them is ever alone or has to face life without the other at their side. I'm so tired of being alone..."

The last sounded a bit sad when he said it aloud and Ronhim wasn't sure why he had chosen this moment to make such a confession. Maybe because it was on his mind lately.  At any rate he tried to move on past the thought.

"So your the Weyrwoman's daughter and grew up in the Weyr? All of my little worries must sound very strange to you."

While new to Arolos even Ronhim had heard who Foreth was and that riders had different sorts of family relations than holders or crafters did.


sailyn2
 

"Deep down they love each other," Kashara acknowledged, "but sometimes it's hard to tell. And there's nothing saying that being with someone is better than being alone. You can be with someone and still feel very alone. Not wanting to be alone might be a bad reason to have a dragon because you can become dependent on them, or feel worse if things don't go exactly the way you hope. You should talk to my uncle, T'rifoshe. He's an ACM. He specializes in talking these things out."

She nodded at the next question. "I am her daughter and your worries don't sound weird. Everyone wants to feel a part of something and to feel loved. I love my mom, but she wasn't always easy to be close to."


kepheren
 

"I don't know....being alone kind of stinks. I've been alone for a long time now."

He sighed a bit and studied Kashara for a moment. Odds are she knew what she was talking about. She had been around dragons all her life after all.

"Your uncle the ACM...he would be willing to give me advice? I don't want to be a burden. But honestly I feel really insecure here. Maybe thats a good thing? Maybe it means I'm growing a little."

The words sounded clumsy but it was how felt.


sailyn2
 

Kashara smiled at him. "That's my uncle's job. He's the Candidate counselor. He'd be glad to talk to you."


kepheren
 

Ronhim paused for a moment, considering the idea. The thought nagged at him that if he talked to a mind healer they might hold him back from standing for worry that he was unwell. But maybe a little talk would do him well.

"Wouldn't they stop me from standing if I need to see him?" he asked.


sailyn2
 

Kashara shook her head. "Not necessarily. He's there to help you with minor issues and can help you before something so big that you need to stop Standing."