Topics

Have I Made a Mistake? (attn: Andronda, Sehrael)


Aaron
 

Sehrael had, thank Faranth, not seen the actual deed done. She had been upstairs, watching a baby gold break Shalia's arm and thus had avoided the sight of a baby green gleefully disemboweling that boy Sorho. Nearly taking the arms off of Ysolde.

But when she had come down from the upper cavern, she had seen the blood. Skies above, the blood.

And it was at that point that Sehrael realized she had made a mistake in coming to the weyr. She had thought she could handle anything. She had always adapted and overcome before. Nothing had ever stood in her way so indomitably that she could not defeat it.

But now? It had begun with a knife attack. And then it had progressed to dragons nearly crushing and eating foolish Candidates. Then to an explosion. Eggs blown up. Dragons blinded. And then when the rest of the dragons hatched, they were killers just like their parents!

It was more than she ever could have prepared herself for. Well. She clearly had no place here. And what could they even stand to gain? Most of the weyr's alcohol was provided by tithe, how much of a deal could they really hope to strike? What better connections could they really hope to forge?

So Sehrael had begun to pack up her things. She was not out the door just yet. After all, they were still looking for whoever was behind the attacks. She was not stupid enough to run away before they had a suspect in mind, lest she make herself look guilty. But she was ready to go as soon as it was safe.

So focused was she on that task that she did not notice when someone approached.


Jerzy Tobin
 

It was more than she ever could have prepared herself for. Well. She clearly had no place here. And what could they even stand to gain? Most of the weyr's alcohol was provided by tithe, how much of a deal could they really hope to strike? What better connections could they really hope to forge?

So Sehrael had begun to pack up her things. She was not out the door just yet. After all, they were still looking for whoever was behind the attacks. She was not stupid enough to run away before they had a suspect in mind, lest she make herself look guilty. But she was ready to go as soon as it was safe.

So focused was she on that task that she did not notice when someone approached.
Andronda had plenty of mixed feelings about these new Weyrlings, but
since they were now in the care of the Weyrlingmaster and his
assistants, she could shove those feelings aside to focus on those
candidates that had been left Standing. No few of them were going to
need to speak with the mind healers, or some sort of counsellor. And
rightfully so. That Hatching had been horrifying, without a doubt.

She had already checked in on the Feast, such as it was, and was now
looking through the barracks, to check on anyone who had decided to
skip. Most of the rooms she had checked thus far had been empty.
Then she found Sehrael, who looked to be packing.

"Sehrael?" Andronda called softly, not fully entering the room. She
didn't want the girl to feel cornered.

--
"Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the goal of arriving safely
in a prettily preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways in a
shower of gravel and party shards, thoroughly used, utterly exhausted,
and loudly proclaiming: "F*** ME, that Rocked!!" -unknown

Whizzy: Jerzy
Aim: Yue146


Aaron
 

"Sehrael?" Andronda called softly, not fully entering the room.  She
didn't want the girl to feel cornered.

"Yes, ma'am?" Sehrael set her duffel down and shoved it under her cot with her foot. "I'm sorry, I thought they'd said we were free until tomorrow. Am I not where I'm supposed to be?"


Jerzy Tobin
 

"Yes, ma'am?" Sehrael set her duffel down and shoved it under her cot with her foot. "I'm sorry, I thought they'd said we were free until tomorrow. Am I not where I'm supposed to be?"
"Oh, no, you're fine," Andronda said, offering an encouraging smile.
She had noted the duffel, but didn't mention it, for the moment. "We
just make a point of checking up on those candidates that don't
Impress, after a Hatching. Make sure they're doing okay, or if not,
get the help they need, where needed. Especially when Hatchings turn
out so...chaotic, though most Hatchings are nothing like this one.
So, may I ask how you are faring?"



--
"Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the goal of arriving safely
in a prettily preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways in a
shower of gravel and party shards, thoroughly used, utterly exhausted,
and loudly proclaiming: "F*** ME, that Rocked!!" -unknown

Whizzy: Jerzy
Aim: Yue146


Aaron
 

"Oh, no, you're fine," Andronda said, offering an encouraging smile.
She had noted the duffel, but didn't mention it, for the moment.  "We
just make a point of checking up on those candidates that don't
Impress, after a Hatching.  Make sure they're doing okay, or if not,
get the help they need, where needed.   Especially when Hatchings turn
out so...chaotic, though most Hatchings are nothing like this one.
So, may I ask how you are faring?"

"I don't mind," said Sehrael. "Want to have a seat? You're welcome to if you like – nobody is using that fourth bunk there. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit shaken up! I half thought they were all like this and wondered how you all manage. But then, I thought, well, you lot greet fire and death with a kiss and a smile on the regular, maybe this is where we get used to the idea, eh? When I was still upstairs, I thought we'd had the rough go of it, but one look at the sand on the way down put that notion to bed, didn't it?"

Though she had offered the seat to Andronda, Sehrael could not manage to sit herself. Instead, she paced and fidgeted nervously. And she felt sorry for Andronda to have to be the one to ask. Sehrael was fairly sure the goldrider did not much care for her, and now she would likely have to pretend to just for the sake of common decency. At least for a moment. Maybe.


Jerzy Tobin
 

"I don't mind," said Sehrael. "Want to have a seat? You're welcome to if you like – nobody is using that fourth bunk there. To tell you the truth, I'm a bit shaken up! I half thought they were all like this and wondered how you all manage. But then, I thought, well, you lot greet fire and death with a kiss and a smile on the regular, maybe this is where we get used to the idea, eh? When I was still upstairs, I thought we'd had the rough go of it, but one look at the sand on the way down put that notion to bed, didn't it?"

Though she had offered the seat to Andronda, Sehrael could not manage to sit herself. Instead, she paced and fidgeted nervously. And she felt sorry for Andronda to have to be the one to ask. Sehrael was fairly sure the goldrider did not much care for her, and now she would likely have to pretend to just for the sake of common decency. At least for a moment. Maybe.
Andronda did sit on the empty bunk, mostly so that Sehrael wouldn't
feel as nervous around her. The gold rider wasn't physically imposing
by any means, but sitting gave the candidate a height advantage that
would hopefully put her more at ease around Andronda. She listened
closely as Sehrael spoke, nodding sympathetically.

"I'll be honest, I'd be more worried if you said you weren't shaken by
what happened. Even if you didn't witness it, witnessing the
aftermath can be just as traumatizing. And while accidents can happen
during Hatchings, very, very rarely do they happen to this extreme.
Usually, and I do stress that word, the worst that happens is a few
scratches because some candidate didn't move out of the way fast
enough, or their dragonet was a bit clumsy when finally finding them.
What happened tonight - this morning? - is rarely heard of.

But, no one would blame you in the least, Sehrael, if you wanted time
to reconsider the path of candidacy. No one would make you leave; in
fact, we'd very much like for you to stay. At the very least, talk to
a counselor, or a mind healer, before making any serious decisions."



--
"Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the goal of arriving safely
in a prettily preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways in a
shower of gravel and party shards, thoroughly used, utterly exhausted,
and loudly proclaiming: "F*** ME, that Rocked!!" -unknown

Whizzy: Jerzy
Aim: Yue146


Aaron
 

But, no one would blame you in the least, Sehrael, if you wanted time
to reconsider the path of candidacy.  No one would make you leave; in
fact, we'd very much like for you to stay.  At the very least, talk to
a counselor, or a mind healer, before making any serious decisions."

"You would?" Sehrael quirked an eyebrow at Andronda. Of course, it was we and not I, and so this was likely to be some line they gave to any Candidate who was reconsidering rather than a specific desire for her to stay, in particular.

"What do I say to a mind healer?" she wondered, though her tone suggested she it was more a personal consideration than an actual question for Andronda.

"It'll be a while before another one goes up, won't it? Yours, maybe? Wasn't the last one Razelth's?" Perhaps if word of what was happening was getting around, fewer potential Candidates would be accepting Search. They would need the ones they had to stay.


Jerzy Tobin
 

"You would?" Sehrael quirked an eyebrow at Andronda. Of course, it was we and not I, and so this was likely to be some line they gave to any Candidate who was reconsidering rather than a specific desire for her to stay, in particular.

"What do I say to a mind healer?" she wondered, though her tone suggested she it was more a personal consideration than an actual question for Andronda.

"It'll be awhile before another one goes up, won't it? Yours, maybe? Wasn't the last one Razelth's?" Perhaps if word of what was happening was getting around, fewer potential Candidates would be accepting Search. They would need the ones they had to stay.
Andronda herself hadn't really ever spoken much with the mind healers.
While she'd struggled with her gold at the first, most of her help had
come from the Weyrlingmaster and Telgar, and the Weyrwoman in turn.
She'd not suffered from Impression Anxiety, or witnessing serious
accidents at Hatchings. She saw horrifying things in Fall, sure, but
that was something all riders learned to deal with.

"What you say would be entirely up to you. At the very least, you'd
probably talk about what you saw, how you felt, how you're feeling
now...and who knows what else. I'm not a mind healer, so I couldn't
really say what they'd ask, or talk to you about. I just know that
they are very helpful when it comes to sorting out one's actual
feelings on something, or at least, helping that person figure things
out for themselves."

"It's likely to be a while, yes," Andronda admitted. "And probably it
will be Nykantiath, but she's shown no signs of wanting to rise any
time soon. There's likely to be a lull in activity for a bit, I
think."

She couldn't say for sure, because nothing was certain, but Nykantiath
wasn't displaying any sort of sign of being proddy, so it was probably
true. Andronda was glad for that; she didn't want her gold riding
until they found out just what had happened with the Hatching Caverns,
and who was behind the attacks. When Nykantiath had her first clutch,
she wanted it to be as safe as could be. She didn't want any
disasters.

"But, all of this, it really depends on just how much you really want
to stay in the Weyr. There have been plenty of candidates who became
candidates simply because they wanted out of whatever future their
parents had set out for them, or they were looking for adventure, or
perhaps were even pressed into it by parents because their families
considered it a high honor, without really understanding what they
were signing up for. May I ask, Sehrael, what it was that made you
choose to become a candidate?"



--
"Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the goal of arriving safely
in a prettily preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways in a
shower of gravel and party shards, thoroughly used, utterly exhausted,
and loudly proclaiming: "F*** ME, that Rocked!!" -unknown

Whizzy: Jerzy
Aim: Yue146


Aaron
 

"But, all of this, it really depends on just how much you really want
to stay in the Weyr.  There have been plenty of candidates who became
candidates simply because they wanted out of whatever future their
parents had set out for them, or they were looking for adventure, or
perhaps were even pressed into it by parents because their families
considered it a high honor, without really understanding what they
were signing up for.  May I ask, Sehrael, what it was that made you
choose to become a candidate?"

Sehrael still had no plans to stay just yet, and for this reason, she supposed it could not hurt anything for her to tell the truth. After all, what could Andronda do? Send her home?

"After the attack – the first attack, the guards here got a lot stricter about who they let in," she explained. "My father thought it would be a great opportunity for us if we had a contact here, someone who belonged here, who could invite them in. When I got Searched, he said why not me? So I came. I figured I haven't got that many Turns left before I wouldn't be allowed any more, so I'd come, make some friends, maybe find a place in the lower caverns..."

"But then Kassia gave us the class on golds, I thought, that sounded a lot like what I did for the caravan. Next level kind of stuff, sure, but. It sounded like something I could do, something I would actually enjoy, you know? Contribute to society and all that. I didn't think I would Impress, but I thought, hey, if I do, that's OK. I could be good at it."

She shrugged.

"But then there was that crazy girl. The explosion. The bloody Sands. Nobody ever tried to stab my dad. Nobody ever blew up our wagons. And no cask of whiskey ever tried to rip my guts out. It's just a lot, and I... I don't know if I'm cut out to get my guts ripped out, you know?"


Jerzy Tobin
 

"But then there was that crazy girl. The explosion. The bloody Sands. Nobody ever tried to stab my dad. Nobody ever blew up our wagons. And no cask of whiskey ever tried to rip my guts out. It's just a lot, and I... I don't know if I'm cut out to get my guts ripped out, you know?"
"That's definitely understandable," Andronda said soothingly. "No one
was prepared for that sight; that sort of thing happens rarely, if
ever. All of us are going to be suffering from grief and nightmares
for turns to come, I suspect. That's why we'll be speaking to the
mind healers. I certainly will. And, generally, Weyrs as a whole are
usually very safe places. What has happened... Well, it's an
exception, not the way things usually go."

Well, Arolos Weyr had a reputation up North for attracting a lot of
'excitement' and 'danger' that Andronda had always dismissed as
exaggeration, but now wondered about. Surely this was't common,
despite all those rumors. How would the Weyr still be standing,
otherwise?

"We'd all understand if you felt safer back with your caravan. But,
if you were willing to stay on, even if not as a candidate, the Weyr
could certainly use someone with record keeping skills, particularly
if you're good at it. For all that it falls into my hands, I never
seem to have enough help to keep fully on top of all the hidework
involved with my office."


--
"Life is NOT a journey to the grave with the goal of arriving safely
in a prettily preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways in a
shower of gravel and party shards, thoroughly used, utterly exhausted,
and loudly proclaiming: "F*** ME, that Rocked!!" -unknown

Whizzy: Jerzy
Aim: Yue146


Aaron
 

"We'd all understand if you felt safer back with your caravan.  But,
if you were willing to stay on, even if not as a candidate, the Weyr
could certainly use someone with record keeping skills, particularly
if you're good at it.  For all that it falls into my hands, I never
seem to have enough help to keep fully on top of all the hidework
involved with my office."

Sehrael was surprised, and her face showed it. She had been certain that Andronda did not like her very much. But she was willing to take Sehrael on personally to keep her at the weyr? She must have been far more kind than Sehrael realized.

And if she could stay...

Well, Sehrael had plenty of time before the next Hatching. She did not have to burn that bridge yet.

Perhaps her goal was not yet beyond her reach. Everyone would be having the same trouble she would, if Andronda could be believed – and Sehrael had no reason to doubt her. So if she left... she would be alone in this grief, this horror. But if she stayed, she would be among those who understood. Those who could help.

"Well, I'd be honored to do what I can to help," Sehrael said.