Re: It seemed like a good idea at the time! {Petiner, Kassia}
Kouga
"Yes Ma'am I have been doing those on my days off or short days, but"It can be hard to know how strong your shields are or aren't at first," Kassia said. "I struggled with this, though it was with Foreth. The concept is still the same. Have you taken the classes with the Hall yet? They're mandatory and they can help you get used to your little friend there." << we have so few guards it is hard to do much more than that so I haven't been able to spend much extra time there." Petiner assured her. He was from the north and had too many horror stories about whers mustless what had happened around Arolos, he was not going to play even with a tiny whelp. He knew the Little Wher was just that now, but he would grow alot and Pet wouldn't have a wher put down because /he/ didn't do what he needed too. "I will not let him suffer just because I wasn't as prepared as I thought I was. Not if I can help it." ooc: fergive if I am wrong about number of guards, it's just seemed like ICly we don't have as many guards we we would like so yep that's what I am playing with. *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: Sooo did you just not like me? {M'gil, T'rif}
sailyn2
OOC: Fix due to understanding
T'rif wasn't sure who wanted to talk to him. Some parent of a Candidate, probably. Either way, he wasn't chasing around for him. Kasheth relayed for him. ((Mine is busy in his office, but he would be glad to see Yours if Yours comes to his office.))
|
||
|
||
Re: Sooo did you just not like me? {M'gil, T'rif}
sailyn2
Kasheth passed on the name and T'rif started. He hadn't heard that name since...well a very long time. Had yet another child come back into his life? Could it be true? There must be some fate working either for or against him with suddenly having so many children in his life when he'd had none.
He conferred with his lifemate and Kasheth sent back, ((Mine is busy in his office, but he would be glad to see Yours if Yours comes to his office.))
|
||
|
||
Re: It seemed like a good idea at the time! {Petiner, Kassia}
sailyn2
"It can be hard to know how strong your shields are or aren't at first," Kassia said. "I struggled with this, though it was with Foreth. The concept is still the same. Have you taken the classes with the Hall yet? They're mandatory and they can help you get used to your little friend there."
|
||
|
||
Re: Isn't Arolos meant to mean surprise? {Jaseto, T'rif, any}
sailyn2
"We're lucky and unlucky enough to have unusual things happen," T'rif agreed. "But still, two gold eggs is extremely unusual. Gold dragons are not usual dragons. A Weyr is likely to have at most five golds and those may or not all be golds of laying age. So we're looking at likely something like 40 gold dragons of laying age. Those dragons are responsible for all the dragons on Pern. The same dragons that save your life every time there's Thread. Without them, there are no dragons. As harsh as it is to say, any other dragon could die and there's not much of a difference in a grand scheme. A gold dies and so does the person meant to lead the Weyr and also all the eggs she would otherwise have laid. Foreth alone has laid somewhere between 150 and 200 eggs in her lifetime."
|
||
|
||
Re: Checking the Distance (attn: Borriga, Nevena)
Kouga
"Because it is home? Because it is what you know as normal?" The"If the leadership doesn't try preventing it, or causes something that would get someone killed, why would I want to support them or guard them?" Nevena explained. "I just wasn't comfortable around the people I was to be guarding at Ista anymore. Didn't know which ones I trusted to not be...well...not be horrid people, or people enabling problems. Things like that." << candidate offered still thinking of Fort and the guards that had to have been there before things happened or that even were there now when things were happening that they may or may not approve of. "How do you know who you can trust or if they are horrid when it is all you have known? Does it not just become 'normal' then?" Borriga questioned because he knew sometimes that he did wonder if all the things that happened with Arolos Weyr were as 'normal' as he thought they were. *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: What Were You Thinking, Boy? ((Attn: Asheran, Kassia, ))
sailyn2
"Don't yell at me, boy!" Kassia snapped. She shook her head. Her blood was boiling, but some small part of her told her to not be too harsh. He was helping. She didn't know if she believed him or not, but he hadn't touched the Sands where the other one hand. She released her hips and balled her fists. "Just...get out of my sight. I'll deal with you later."
|
||
|
||
Re: Good Luck Can Be Uncomfortable (Attn: Reirel/Tamalak)
Kouga
This unfortunate circumstance had the detrimental side effect ofIt had been three months since Tamalak's unexpected Impression to the tunnelwhere, Chato. The novelty for the other wherhandlers--both with and without whers--had worn off. Now he noticed that he was sometimes the recipient of dirty looks--usually when the others thought he wasn't looking. turning him anti-social in the whercraft. When he wasn't needed for lessons or chores, he spent more and more time at the Weyr, where he was viewed as more of an oddity than as an object of envy. So when he saw someone heading towards him--Reirel, he thought--he put his head down and veered away. ~Why we go dis way?~ Chato asked. "I'm avoiding people." ~Why?~ "They're jealous of you. They want to be the ones who have you and don't think I deserve you." Chato sat. ~Dey can't have me. You all mine. Dey try, I bite.~ He showed his sharp teeth. "No, you can't bite them. Then we'll both be in trouble." By now, the other person was close enough to hear, if he so wanted to. Tamalak blushed, hoping he hadn't heard that last remark. Or any, for that matter.<< Reirel would admit that he hadn't been paying too much attention to what he was doing or even where he was going, but with so many whers around the sound of wher claws hadn't actually alerted him to anything, no it was the voice. He blinked a couple of times looking up and spotting the younger boy offered him a grin, he hadn't ever been able to gold anything again Tamalak or the other boy for that matter when they impressed their whers. Had he wished it had been him? Sure, but he didn't hold it against them at all, not after Fort. Fort had made it very hard for him to hold anything against anyone. After all it was just that that had forced him into being a candidate when he hadn't wanted to be one, but it had either been that or know his days may be numbered one way or another. "Hello Tamalak and Chato right?" he offered. *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: Gather: Tailor Stall (Attn: Bronwynn, Z'rain)
Rosiegirl
Bronwynn noticed that he perked up at her words, and couldn't help but wonder if Z'rain had actually thought she'd be upset or judge him for being happy...even if the happiness was with more than one person. Yes, she'd been raised at Fort but she'd always struggled with how strict they'd been...beyond the fact that it felt like she'd been in danger every day once she'd grown up a bit to be exposed to that side of Fort's atmosphere. So she was ecstatic that he was so happy where he was, regardless of how many people he was with. Being an amazing multitasker, as she led Z'rain over to the racks of men's clothes she had and began looking through the hangers she was able to pull a few tunics to show him while at the same time listening to him talking, glancing back and forth from him to the clothing rack during the conversation. Bronwynn smiled as she noticed him blush when he began talking about 'B'nault' the former miner from High Reaches, and reminded herself to either offer him a shirt made from her 'lighter fabric' for B'nault or see if maybe he'd be interested in visiting to get measured and properly fit, so that he could maybe stay a bit cooler in Igen. Then there was 'J'ril' a former runner from Benden, who's also with B'nault. And finally Gabril from Keroon, a master beastcrafter too! Bronwynn couldn't help but look a bit impressed as Z'rain mentioned that, and blushed a bit at his last comment even as she laughed with him and replied with "Oh really? Now I simply *must* meet them all!" As she pulled another shirt off the rack, so that she was holding 6 choices, Bronwynn asked "So, 2 riders and a master beastcrafter hmm? Sounds like a full weyr, at the very least. And you mentioned there is family as well, for them? What colors do B'nault and J'ril ride? You mentioned B'nault and J'ril are together, but then talked about Gabril separately. Is he not with the riders? And...how does he feel about the whole arrangement? I mean, I'm assuming it works because you're happy, I was just curious...and you can tell me to butt out and stop asking questions if you need to. I won't be offended." Heading over to one of her 'changing areas' that she'd set up, Bronwynn held out to Z'rain the shirts she'd picked, all in that nice, lighter, breathable fabric that didn't *look* light and breathable, being a bit deceptive in their looks. With a smile and a wave toward the privacy curtain she offered "Go ahead and try them on. Let me know what you think and which you like more, or even if none of those options work for you."
On Sun, Aug 23, 2020 at 4:53 PM Aaron <cobalt.knight@...> wrote:
|
||
|
||
Re: Lakeside to the Danger Zone ((Attn: Marsali, Rosk))
Rosiegirl
Marsali's eyes flicked away from Rosk to see the blue shift a bit back and forth as if he was dancing, smiling a little, before her eyes returned to the bluerider making sure to take care to look right up at Rosk's face and not at the expanse of bare chest and muscles. She was *positive* that her face was still quite bright red as she looked up at Rosk, and she didn't think that it would be possible for him to mistake her blushing cheeks for just being reddened from the sun like his were (being totally oblivious to the fact that *he* was blushing a little bit too!). As he directed her to just call him Rosk, Marsali nodded with a small smile, but she did indeed perk up a bit at the question about runnerbeasts. Forgoing grabbing any scrub brush in her enthusiasm, Marsali's eyes lit up as she said "There are so many different types of runners here, it's been amazing to see them and to get to help brush them. But, I'm still a bit new here, with the beastcraft, so I've not been given leave to actually ride any of them to help exercise them, mainly doing...well, cleaning out their stalls and then washing and grooming the horses. That's all the direct interaction I've had with them so far, but it's giving me a chance to get to know each horse." "And then at the Gather, getting to see those Callamere White runners racing was amazing! They were so..so beautiful and strong. Amazing confirmation and their stride looked so smooth..." As she realized she was getting into 'ramble' mode, Marsali bit her lip a bit (an unconsciously sexy looking movement) and looked embarrassed as she said "I'm sorry, s- I mean Rosk. I didn't mean to go on and on like that." Glancing around for a nearby rock that wouldn't be in danger of getting splashed, Marsali walked over and put down the towel she was carrying. Then, in a surprisingly smooth movement the short girl untied the nearly sheer wrap from her waist before putting it between the folds of her towel (so it had no chance of blowing off) and then slipped off her sandals. Now suitably prepared to enter the water, she turned to the supplies bucket and bent down at the waist to grab one of the scrub brushes. Turning to Rosk now, thinking he'd bring the soapsand and his own brush, Marsali asked politely as she waited to head into the water until he was ready "And, how is it in the kennels?"
On Sun, Aug 23, 2020 at 4:39 PM Aaron <cobalt.knight@...> wrote:
|
||
|
||
Sooo did you just not like me? {M'gil, T'rif}
Kouga
It hadn't taken long for him to find the other male, not when dragons
were involved at least. M'gil still was not looking too great after his stint on rations, well ok so he wasn't looking bad, but it was clear that he wasn't great or even quite like he should either. Still all that wasn't going to stop the bluerider, not when he had a chance like this [[Tulioth find him, get us a meeting.]] he demanded once he knew the blue had the right person. If he could the blue would have rolled his eyes at his rider's craziness, but honestly even he was a bit subdued from their stint on punishment right now. So rather than commenting he he instead reached out to the bronze it had taken him so long to find {{Kasheth I am Tulioth and mine is M'gil. He has been looking for yours and hopes that yours can find some time to talk with him. We know there are candidates for yours to look after, but it would mean a lot to my rider.}} ooc: Trif may have caught word from his dragon or someone that Tulioth was looking for him for the past couple of days up to you of course. *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: Testing Bonds (ATTN: Trifali/Andreya)
Jessica Freise
Fali took in every word. She thought she understood exactly what Andrey meant. Her heart beat painfully in her chest as she grappled with this new flow of information and tried not to sound like someone who felt outdone by her sibling. But wasn't that exactly how she felt?
toggle quoted messageShow quoted text
"I'm jealous of you," she admitted quietly, no rancor in her words. "I didn't think twice before going in and seeing the eggs. I looked at everyone, including both golds, and told myself that my lifemate might be out there, be she green or gold." She looked down at her hands, so much a part of how she talked, resting quietly in her lap. She raced a finger to forestall any words from her sister. "You did the right thing, Andreya," she whispered, hardly daring to voice her concerns. "T'rif says I'm just as worthy in my own right, but part of me wishes, feels, I should have been as selfless as you. Does any of this make sense?" She took a breath, then added, "I looked at the other eggs, as I've said. but there is one I fell in love with."
On Aug 24, 2020, at 2:27 AM, Rosiegirl <rosiegirl872@...> wrote: When Trifali said she wanted to hear, Andreya gave a small nod of her head which then froze when her sister mentioned hearing things through the rumor grapevine that made her uncertain. The idea that Trifali's opinion of her could be twisted up and uncertain just from some horrid rumors made Andreya frown slightly, but she kept listening. As Trifali asked her to go first, Andreya nodded again as she also straightened up just a bit more (although she was already sitting straight and properly poised) in her seat. Taking a breath, Andreya looked at her sister saying first, a bit hesitatingly "I'm...I'm sorry that whatever rumors are going around made you feel unsure. I don't know what's been said about me...I learned turns ago, from...a very bad experience, just how *cruel* rumors can be about people and stopped listening to the rumor mill because of it. I hope that hearing the truth from me helps and clears things up a bit for you." With that, Andreya took a breath and settled herself into explaining while at the same time hoping that her explanation didn't make things worse between her and Trifali. "Well, to start with I should explain that before finding out that T'rif was my dad, I've always worked hard for what I want, something I've always seen my mom do actually. I fell in love with singing, so I worked hard with the extra lessons as a kid before joining the Harper Haven, and at the Haven I kept on with that hard work. I didn't want to get where I was because I was 'cute', or because of some talent others thought I had, I wanted to prove to myself that it was *me* getting myself there and excelling...if that makes sense." "And then, at finding out that T'rif was my dad and through him that I was related to Kassia...It's been hard because I've always prided myself on doing things myself, and now because of who I'm suddenly related to it seems like my own personal effort would get overlooked. Shells, when T'rif gave me Colzar's egg it was hard enough for him to convince me to accept the egg as a gift, I didn't want to be seen as taking advantage of suddenly having an ACM as a father. And then not more than a sevenday after that getting offered to be Kassia's runner-assistant, a position that I'm sure so many other gold-hopefuls would have pushed me down the stairs to get. I love helping Kassia, don't get me wrong, but I felt a little bad getting the offer when I'd not even been a candidate for a year, and knowing the offer was prompted by our family connection." "When Kassia first approached me and let me know that Foreth was going to allow me, you, and Kassia's daughters to see the eggs before any of the other gold-hopefuls I was ecstatic at the opportunity. When talking with Kassia then, I had no thoughts about declining the invitation. But...I will admit that even then, with that offer, I felt a twinge of guilt at the offer itself. At the idea that purely based on the fact that I was related to Kassia that I was going to get to see the eggs before any of the other, not related, gold-hopefuls who'd been candidates so much longer than me." "Now, maybe I should just accept that because of our family connection that we get...unique and special opportunities that aren't offered to others. That I should just count myself lucky to get these special opportunities and accept them despite feeling like I wasn't worthy of those opportunities because I hadn't actually earned them myself. That what I told myself when getting offered to assist Kassia, that I should accept that I'm lucky and accept the position, and I'm glad I did as being able to assist Kassia has been amazing and I've learned so much...But there were other things going through my head that prevented me from doing the same thing regarding the eggs." "In those days between talking to Kassia and when she called us to see the eggs very early, I had a lot of time to think...and I probably over thought things quite a bit, but once the thoughts were there I just couldn't get rid of them. It was...bad either way. If I declined, I'd not only risk greatly offending Kassia and Forenth, but also not be able to assist her again until being able to see the eggs with everyone else. If I accepted, then there'd be not just the unfairness toward the rest of the gold-hopefuls for the opportunity given because of being related, but also their anger and burning any bridges and connections I'd made, which could be disastrous if one of those girls I'd angered happened to impress one of the golds." "But beyond those thoughts, was the idea that seeing the eggs early can influence the Impression. Kassia mentioned it in the gold hopeful lecture, when someone asked her about saying we shouldn't Stand if we didn't want gold. She said that if you don't want to Stand that your chances of seeing the eggs are limited, and they don't even touch the eggs, because there's a link between egg seeing and touching to finding lifemates. She even mentioned it that day, as we met to see the eggs, that any contact with the egg can increase our chances of Impressing." "Over those few days, I realized that if I accepted and saw the eggs before the other gold-hopefuls, and if I *actually* Impressed to either of the golds like I very much hope to, that I'd always wonder if I Impressed because *I* was worthy or if it was because of having had the opportunity to see the eggs early due to family connection causing me to influence or sway the Impression in my favor. From Kassia's gold lecture and her warning of all the difficulties there can be from impressing gold, especially if you don't feel like you're worthy of gold, I realized that with that possibility out there of influencing the impression by seeing the eggs early that *I* would then feel unworthy of gold if I impressed after accepting her offer." "So, at risk of greatly offending Kassia and Foreth, I declined...I declined so that I could be absolutely certain without a *hint* of self-doubt that should I impress gold that it's because *I* was worthy on my own and not because of family connection or any influence that had somehow 'stolen' the gold from who she might have been supposed to impress to. I declined so that if I do impress, that I feel worthy and hopefully don't struggle with that Impression or have any issues bonding with my possible lifemate. I declined...because I want to be the best lifemate possible I can be." "I know it probably seems like I overthought things, and I very well might have, but I hope...I hope that explains everything for you and that my decision makes sense..." As Andreya finished, she took a breath and watched Trifali's face hoping to get a sign before the other girl even spoke on how her sister was feeling about her explanation, hoping she didn't piss her sister off with her any more than she might be already. On Fri, Aug 21, 2020 at 2:48 AM Jessica Freise <loriendarenya@...> wrote:
|
||
|
||
Re: A Few Of My Favorite Things ((Attn: Andreya, Trifali))
Jessica Freise
"So many questions," Fali laughed a little nervously. "I had a wonderful time, though it was scary towards the end," she finished, expression going grave.
toggle quoted messageShow quoted text
"It would appear that I am, while not quite as dedicated as you to my studies, I'm doing well nonetheless. The more I hang around, perhaps the more you'll rub off on me." "It's a funny thing," she continued, finally withdrawing her hand and opening it to reveal the hair comb, "I seem to have picked up something at the Gather that would look wonderful on you."
On Aug 24, 2020, at 2:27 AM, Rosiegirl <rosiegirl872@...> wrote: Andreya nodded firmly in agreement to her sister's words, observing the smile Trifali gave her flits, and replied with "Oh, very much so. Everything we are doing to prepare for our lifemate will be so helpful once we Impress. How are your studies going? Are you having trouble with anything?" And then with a smile Andreya asked "And I hope you had an amazing time at the Gather." On Fri, Aug 21, 2020 at 2:44 AM Jessica Freise <loriendarenya@...> wrote:
|
||
|
||
Re: Meeting of accidental thieves {Qabil, Trifali}
Kouga
She was so involved in her thoughts and her work that she didn't missTrifali had been busy. Her head was full of lectures and hopes and fears. The closer it came, the more excited she was. She had taken Kassia's words to heart; if not a gold, then perhaps another would be that perfect someone for her. the trinket until she reached for it and it wasn't there. She blinked, looking around. It wasn't there, not here, either, or over there. Rising, she followed the path of the last person who had come by, trying to squash her go-to emotions of indigence and panic that she'd lost it. "Excuse me," she said.<< Qabil blinked and looked away from the slowly filling basket at the voice. It took her a moment to realize who has spoken and focus on Trifali with a smile "Hello." she offered brightly and slightly slowly after a short pause as if to register what was said or think of a response. It was around then she registered the knots on the girl's shoulder along with the uniform and made to quickly step out of her way "Sorry. I am in your way am I?" she offered as she did so the words again slightly slow. ooc: hope this works as I wasn't sure what "Indigence" meant an google says "extreme state of poverty" so yep.... *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: It seemed like a good idea at the time! {Petiner, Kassia}
Kouga
Petiner nodded "I didn't realize it would be so odd either, but I'm"I'm sorry you're struggling so much," Kassia said. "Having another being in your head definitely feels weird and I could see how you might not like it. It means that you have to think of yourself and them in a way that no one who's never done it would. You have added opinions and wants. It can be exhausting. One thing you could try is to work on your shields. You don't want to cut yourself off from your wher and you may have to wait until he's a bit older to do this, but you can learn to shut out things like whether he's hungry or itchy or whatever. You'll still have contact and be able to talk to him, but you can maintain more of yourself." << not sure it will get easier or at least I hope it will." he offered considering the rest of the Weyrwoman's words. "That is a good way of seeing it, exhausting. It is a new way to have to organize things and it seems to make everything that much harder. He is little though and I know he doesn't mean to, little things just don't know any other way." "Yes Ma'am of course. The Whercrafts were sure to warn me it would be bad to cut everything off and I have been very careful to not do that though it probably does help that I am still working on the shutting things out. They seemed to think though that it was bad to try and do too much right now though with him so young that it may cause damage to our bond. I think it was due to me not having any other bonds to compare it too that I may try and cut off too much?" He wasn't afraid to admit his failings or shortcomings; it was the only way he could get better after all. *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: Isn't Arolos meant to mean surprise? {Jaseto, T'rif, any}
Kouga
"It's exciting because even though it happened before, it's still aT'rif looked at her and tried not to let the surprise show on his face. How could she not see that this was an exciting thing? Well, he could try to explain it at least. very, very, very rare occurrence. Especially after a rather weird flight. Plus, two golds means two gold Weyrlings which is interesting on his own. And boy was he glad that he wasn't an AWLM. << "I've been south now for several turns with my brother after we lost our parents and it just always seems like Arolos Weyr always has things going on that would be odd anywhere else. What would be so odd about two gold weyrlings? Isn't it just two more weyrlings to train?" Yes if her knots didn't give her away Jaseto would be easily picked out as 'not from around here' by her questions alone. *Kouga* Join the Aywas fun - http://aywas.com/register.php?ref=768 "My personality is 30% the last anime I watched." - Tumblr "Remind me never to get out our bad side. It seems to be ... unhealthy." - Varric "Death By Apple Pie a lovely poem by our friend Cole" - Dorian
|
||
|
||
Re: Testing Bonds (ATTN: Trifali/Andreya)
Rosiegirl
When Trifali said she wanted to hear, Andreya gave a small nod of her head which then froze when her sister mentioned hearing things through the rumor grapevine that made her uncertain. The idea that Trifali's opinion of her could be twisted up and uncertain just from some horrid rumors made Andreya frown slightly, but she kept listening. As Trifali asked her to go first, Andreya nodded again as she also straightened up just a bit more (although she was already sitting straight and properly poised) in her seat. Taking a breath, Andreya looked at her sister saying first, a bit hesitatingly "I'm...I'm sorry that whatever rumors are going around made you feel unsure. I don't know what's been said about me...I learned turns ago, from...a very bad experience, just how *cruel* rumors can be about people and stopped listening to the rumor mill because of it. I hope that hearing the truth from me helps and clears things up a bit for you." With that, Andreya took a breath and settled herself into explaining while at the same time hoping that her explanation didn't make things worse between her and Trifali. "Well, to start with I should explain that before finding out that T'rif was my dad, I've always worked hard for what I want, something I've always seen my mom do actually. I fell in love with singing, so I worked hard with the extra lessons as a kid before joining the Harper Haven, and at the Haven I kept on with that hard work. I didn't want to get where I was because I was 'cute', or because of some talent others thought I had, I wanted to prove to myself that it was *me* getting myself there and excelling...if that makes sense." "And then, at finding out that T'rif was my dad and through him that I was related to Kassia...It's been hard because I've always prided myself on doing things myself, and now because of who I'm suddenly related to it seems like my own personal effort would get overlooked. Shells, when T'rif gave me Colzar's egg it was hard enough for him to convince me to accept the egg as a gift, I didn't want to be seen as taking advantage of suddenly having an ACM as a father. And then not more than a sevenday after that getting offered to be Kassia's runner-assistant, a position that I'm sure so many other gold-hopefuls would have pushed me down the stairs to get. I love helping Kassia, don't get me wrong, but I felt a little bad getting the offer when I'd not even been a candidate for a year, and knowing the offer was prompted by our family connection." "When Kassia first approached me and let me know that Foreth was going to allow me, you, and Kassia's daughters to see the eggs before any of the other gold-hopefuls I was ecstatic at the opportunity. When talking with Kassia then, I had no thoughts about declining the invitation. But...I will admit that even then, with that offer, I felt a twinge of guilt at the offer itself. At the idea that purely based on the fact that I was related to Kassia that I was going to get to see the eggs before any of the other, not related, gold-hopefuls who'd been candidates so much longer than me." "Now, maybe I should just accept that because of our family connection that we get...unique and special opportunities that aren't offered to others. That I should just count myself lucky to get these special opportunities and accept them despite feeling like I wasn't worthy of those opportunities because I hadn't actually earned them myself. That what I told myself when getting offered to assist Kassia, that I should accept that I'm lucky and accept the position, and I'm glad I did as being able to assist Kassia has been amazing and I've learned so much...But there were other things going through my head that prevented me from doing the same thing regarding the eggs." "In those days between talking to Kassia and when she called us to see the eggs very early, I had a lot of time to think...and I probably over thought things quite a bit, but once the thoughts were there I just couldn't get rid of them. It was...bad either way. If I declined, I'd not only risk greatly offending Kassia and Forenth, but also not be able to assist her again until being able to see the eggs with everyone else. If I accepted, then there'd be not just the unfairness toward the rest of the gold-hopefuls for the opportunity given because of being related, but also their anger and burning any bridges and connections I'd made, which could be disastrous if one of those girls I'd angered happened to impress one of the golds." "But beyond those thoughts, was the idea that seeing the eggs early can influence the Impression. Kassia mentioned it in the gold hopeful lecture, when someone asked her about saying we shouldn't Stand if we didn't want gold. She said that if you don't want to Stand that your chances of seeing the eggs are limited, and they don't even touch the eggs, because there's a link between egg seeing and touching to finding lifemates. She even mentioned it that day, as we met to see the eggs, that any contact with the egg can increase our chances of Impressing." "Over those few days, I realized that if I accepted and saw the eggs before the other gold-hopefuls, and if I *actually* Impressed to either of the golds like I very much hope to, that I'd always wonder if I Impressed because *I* was worthy or if it was because of having had the opportunity to see the eggs early due to family connection causing me to influence or sway the Impression in my favor. From Kassia's gold lecture and her warning of all the difficulties there can be from impressing gold, especially if you don't feel like you're worthy of gold, I realized that with that possibility out there of influencing the impression by seeing the eggs early that *I* would then feel unworthy of gold if I impressed after accepting her offer." "So, at risk of greatly offending Kassia and Foreth, I declined...I declined so that I could be absolutely certain without a *hint* of self-doubt that should I impress gold that it's because *I* was worthy on my own and not because of family connection or any influence that had somehow 'stolen' the gold from who she might have been supposed to impress to. I declined so that if I do impress, that I feel worthy and hopefully don't struggle with that Impression or have any issues bonding with my possible lifemate. I declined...because I want to be the best lifemate possible I can be." "I know it probably seems like I overthought things, and I very well might have, but I hope...I hope that explains everything for you and that my decision makes sense..." As Andreya finished, she took a breath and watched Trifali's face hoping to get a sign before the other girl even spoke on how her sister was feeling about her explanation, hoping she didn't piss her sister off with her any more than she might be already.
On Fri, Aug 21, 2020 at 2:48 AM Jessica Freise <loriendarenya@...> wrote:
|
||
|
||
Re: A Few Of My Favorite Things ((Attn: Andreya, Trifali))
Rosiegirl
Andreya nodded firmly in agreement to her sister's words, observing the smile Trifali gave her flits, and replied with "Oh, very much so. Everything we are doing to prepare for our lifemate will be so helpful once we Impress. How are your studies going? Are you having trouble with anything?" And then with a smile Andreya asked "And I hope you had an amazing time at the Gather."
On Fri, Aug 21, 2020 at 2:44 AM Jessica Freise <loriendarenya@...> wrote:
|
||
|
||
Re: Right Place + Right Time = Loneliness (Attn: Any)
Laurie
Chato perked up. ~~Cremmie!!!~~ he called, bounding over. ~~Tam sez yours not liking him. 'lyx likes Tam, rite?~~ Tamalak smiled as he watched Chato gambol around Cremmie. These little ones were so full of energy. "Hi, Alyx. Yes, it is. How's your training with Cremmie going? I haven't seen you around much." Though, to be fair, he also hadn't been paying a whole lot of attention either, so caught up in his own misery.
On Sun, Aug 23, 2020 at 3:18 PM Alyx <scottish.wolfecary@...> wrote: Three months, it was shocking how much Cremmie had grown in just three months. Alyx was very glad she'd taken the leave of absence in the beginning to get basic training in with him. He'd grown by leaps and bounds, and not just physically. Though that was the part most people noticed, mostly cause it was hard not to. You could really see the northern in him. Cremmie'd gone bulky and was well formed.
|
||
|
||
Re: Gather: Tailor Stall (Attn: Bronwynn, Z'rain)
Aaron
As he finished, Wynn nodded her head saying "Z'rain, really it's ok. I understand. I'm just glad you're happy finally, and you should hold onto that happiness. I just hope I can finally hear about them while we are catching up today." As she finished, Wynn smiled to show she really was ok, as even though she'd been hoping he'd eventually move here with her she did understand. With his last words, Wynn put a hand on his arm saying happily "Alright, then let's get looking!" as she turned slightly and waved with a hand at her booth with it's makeshift portable racks of hanging clothes. Z'rain perked up considerably after seeing that Bronwynn was at least refraining from judging him out loud! He chuckled and followed her to look at the clothes on the rack. "I'd be happy to tell you about them," he said. "There's, ah. Well. He blushed. There's B'nault. He was a miner before he got Searched and Impressed at High Reaches. And then he found his way to Igen a while later. Took him a while to get used to the heat." "And there's J'ril. He was a runner. Spent a good bit of his younger days running up and down the east coast up North at Benden. He ended up running up to the Weyr one day, and well, the rest is history as they say. And then he transferred to Igen, too. B'nault and J'ril, they're together, too." "And there's Gabril. He grew up at Keroon. He's a master beastcrafter, and they brought him to the weyr to work with the herdsmen there. And you should see the man in his herding gear." He laughed. "It's a sight to behold."
|
||
|